Learning to Trust What You Already Know
“Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we sit in the darkness with others.” — Pema Chödrön
I’ve been working on being more attentive and trusting. Especially to my intuition.
Trusting my intuition means remembering there’s more than just this moment, more than this struggle or pain point, more than this story I’m telling myself.
This lesson has been coming through in my relationship. My marriage has been teaching me how to expand—how my husband mirrors back exactly what I need to see, how letting go of needing to be “right” opens everything up. And how even when my pain body shows up, there’s room for compassion always.
The Noise in Our Heads
One of the latest books I picked up was The Power of Now. Tolle reminded me that all this mental noise—the replaying of old stories, the planning for some future where I’ll finally have it together, the things that won’t happen but still occupy my thoughts: it’s all just noise.
Because here’s the thing: I’m not my thoughts. Those anxious spirals, the self-doubt, the endless problem-solving—that’s just my mind doing its thing. I don’t have to engage with every thought that shows up.
And unless there’s an actual bear chasing me? I don’t actually have problems, just a busy mind creating them.
And this allows for more compassion. More care and kindness. Because when you show up like that, you can allow your partner to show up that way too. Or anyone close to you. And that’s where you become catalysts for each other: healing these shadowy parts together.
Fear Disguised as Truth
There’s a quiet thread that connects the pain body, intuition, and presence.
When old pain lives inside us—what some call the shadow self or the pain body—it doesn’t just sit there. It reacts. It defends. It tells stories that sound like truth but are really fear in disguise. That voice says things like “don’t trust,” “don’t let go,” or “don’t get hurt again.”
And because those wounds are loud, it’s easy to mistake them for intuition. But intuition doesn’t rush, panic, or overexplain. It speaks softly, without emotional charge. It’s the calm beneath the noise.
The only thing that’s real is being right here, right now. And the moments I stop chasing these discomforts—the future and past—and just be? Just let what is, be? Everything softens.
That’s why being present matters so much. Presence quiets the storm long enough for us to tell the difference between fear and knowing. When we breathe into what’s here—without judgment—the pain body softens, the shadow feels seen, and intuition finally has room to speak.
It’s not about fixing or forcing anything. It’s about being here—long enough, honest enough—to hear what’s true.
Remembering, Not Figuring Out
Recently, I’ve been working with clients and diving deeper into past lives and how they shape what we carry now. It’s wild to realize that some of the blocks, patterns, or callings we feel might have roots way beyond this lifetime. That exploration has shifted something for me; it’s made my intuition and theirs feel less like guessing and more like remembering.
Like we’re not figuring it out. We’re uncovering what we already know. And when this work is done, we understand the pain body. And then when it shows up, either in our own quiet moments or in our relationships, we can handle it with care.
Coming Home to Yourself
And so I keep coming back to this: be present, be compassionate, follow the hurt until—maybe it’s not healed, but you understand it—and then you can truly trust your intuition that’s alive and growing, and the intimate knowing that we’re never really alone in this.
“The soul speaks in whispers and sighs, not in sentences. To hear it, we must unclench our hearts and grow comfortable with silence.” — Mirabai Starr, Mystic & Translator of Teresa of Ávila
The soul speaks in whispers. To hear it, we must unclench our hearts and grow comfortable with silence.
Xx- shana
Solar Eclipse Season & Life Lessons:
In astrological terms, this is the start of a new year. We go from the heavenly and spiritual energy of Pisces; the slow watery sign that dreams and imagines, that is not so tied to this earthly plane as it is to the next, and lives half beyond the veil, to the Aries’ abrupt, rising, warrior energy.
Most of the ancient and modern astrologers agree that the year’s wheel is a metaphor to the lifecycle. We start out as babies with the high intensive energy of Aries, and make our way until we are in our later years (i.e. months) with the ending of the year in the wise, twinkling and elder spirit of Pisces.
The Aries temperament is similar to a young child’s in that it is fresh and vibrant, it has no fear, it goes after what it wants, it cries when it doesn’t get it -but- gets right back up again! This temperament may get angry, however, Aries has taught us to use that anger for production, and never to hold onto it.
…There are various other cultures and traditions that attach characteristics, emotions, energy, colors, and, even, taste and sounds to these transitional times. But, the majority would agree that this is the most impactful time of year, full of metamorphoses and change: the time leaving winter and entering spring. The opposition of these two seasonal energies create a vortex of possibilities in each of our lives…
Happy New Year! The Vernal Equinox and WHY its the BEST Time to Start Again…
In astrological terms, this is the start of a new year. We go from the heavenly and spiritual energy of Pisces; the slow watery sign that dreams and imagines, that is not so tied to this earthly plane as it is to the next, and lives half beyond the veil, to the Aries’ abrupt, rising, warrior energy.
Most of the ancient and modern astrologers agree that the year’s wheel is a metaphor to the lifecycle. We start out as babies with the high intensive energy of Aries, and make our way until we are in our later years (i.e. months) with the ending of the year in the wise, twinkling and elder spirit of Pisces.
The Aries temperament is similar to a young child’s in that it is fresh and vibrant, it has no fear, it goes after what it wants, it cries when it doesn’t get it -but- gets right back up again! This temperament may get angry, however, Aries has taught us to use that anger for production, and never to hold onto it.
…There are various other cultures and traditions that attach characteristics, emotions, energy, colors, and, even, taste and sounds to these transitional times. But, the majority would agree that this is the most impactful time of year, full of metamorphoses and change: the time leaving winter and entering spring. The opposition of these two seasonal energies create a vortex of possibilities in each of our lives…
“Find Your Why and You Will Find Your Way”
It’s so important to KNOW without a shadow of a doubt what FILLS YOUR CUP and keeps your heart smiling, even when stress is out of control and sh*t hits the fan. It’s times like these , we get thrown off track, get hit from the side, lose the wind from our sails. Too many of these blows, can knock us down for the count. But there is always a way to get back up. And sometimes that means finding your true north, seeing what is important and going the distance. Getting back up means getting in touch with your ‘WHY’
to me
Word of the year: FLOW
2022 taught me a lot. It was tougher than I thought it would be , wasn’t it?? After all we’d been through in 2020 & 2021 most of us thought 2022 would be a walk in the park. But honestly- I don’t know anyone who felt that was.
The world was maybe only very slightly calmer- at least from my perspective- but my inner landscape was vexed. Things came up , situations changed, and topsy -turvy feelings became the norm. And this was the universal sentiment that seemed to rock our worlds- both outer and inner but mostly the former.
There were some larger energetic shifts that impacted us all,but, regardless of that, we all felt the awareness that there was still work to be done. This made me realize: sometimes things happen at their own speed, in their own due time. I am not in control, even as much as I wish I was, or as much as I try working hard to be. I can’t force anything- life can change and impact us -on a macro or micro scale – at any moment. It just is what it is….
And now I truly get that. My son having difficulties has really shown me how we can’t force things to happen. He is going at his own pace, not one imposed upon by me. He is doing the best he can. All I can do is pray, set intentions and ask for help when I need it. BUT I can’t force him on any level to go any faster to do any “better” even though my WILL, my ego might want him to.I need to be in the FLOW. The flow of my outer life and unexpected circumstances that may arise, as well as my inner life- flowing with my feelings, thoughts, passions and purpose- as well as my shadow side.
And now I truly get that. My son having difficulties has really shown me how we can’t force things to happen. He is going at his own pace, not one imposed upon by me. He is doing the best he can. All I can do is pray, set intentions and ask for help when I need it. BUT I can’t force him on any level to go any faster to do any “better” even though my WILL, my ego might want him to….I need to be in the FLOW. The flow of my outer life and unexpected circumstances that may arise, as well as my inner life- flowing with my feelings, thoughts, passions and purpose- as well as my shadow side.
What do Geraldo, Poop, the iPhone & Meditation have in Common?
Our thoughts are a function of our brain. Some thoughts are good and useful to us, and some are not. WE are the LISTENER of our thoughts. I know this is a bit confusing but here’s the deal -we hear our thoughts. We are our consciousness – we are our soul- we are our inner knowing but we are not our thoughts – they are only a function of our brain.
1:59 PM (35 minutes ago)
to me
Word of the year: FLOW
2022 taught me a lot. It was tougher than I thought it would be , wasn’t it?? After all we’d been through in 2020 & 2021 most of us thought 2022 would be a walk in the park. But honestly- I don’t know anyone who felt that was.
The world was maybe only very slightly calmer- at least from my perspective- but my inner landscape was vexed. Things came up , situations changed, and topsy -turvy feelings became the norm. And this was the universal sentiment that seemed to rock our worlds- both outer and inner but mostly the former.
There were some larger energetic shifts that impacted us all,but, regardless of that, we all felt the awareness that there was still work to be done. This made me realize: sometimes things happen at their own speed, in their own due time. I am not in control, even as much as I wish I was, or as much as I try working hard to be. I can’t force anything- life can change and impact us -on a macro or micro scale – at any moment. It just is what it is….
And now I truly get that. My son having difficulties has really shown me how we can’t force things to happen. He is going at his own pace, not one imposed upon by me. He is doing the best he can. All I can do is pray, set intentions and ask for help when I need it. BUT I can’t force him on any level to go any faster to do any “better” even though my WILL, my ego might want him to.I need to be in the FLOW. The flow of my outer life and unexpected circumstances that may arise, as well as my inner life- flowing with my feelings, thoughts, passions and purpose- as well as my shadow side.
And now I truly get that. My son having difficulties has really shown me how we can’t force things to happen. He is going at his own pace, not one imposed upon by me. He is doing the best he can. All I can do is pray, set intentions and ask for help when I need it. BUT I can’t force him on any level to go any faster to do any “better” even though my WILL, my ego might want him to….I need to be in the FLOW. The flow of my outer life and unexpected circumstances that may arise, as well as my inner life- flowing with my feelings, thoughts, passions and purpose- as well as my shadow side.
Word Of the Year: Flow! Getting in it for 2023
This made me realize: sometimes things happen at their own speed, in their own due time. I am not in control, even as much as I wish I was, or as much as I try working hard to be. I can’t force anything- life can change and impact us -on a macro or micro scale – at any moment. It just is what it is….Shana Heatley
1:59 PM (35 minutes ago)
to me
Word of the year: FLOW
2022 taught me a lot. It was tougher than I thought it would be , wasn’t it?? After all we’d been through in 2020 & 2021 most of us thought 2022 would be a walk in the park. But honestly- I don’t know anyone who felt that was.
The world was maybe only very slightly calmer- at least from my perspective- but my inner landscape was vexed. Things came up , situations changed, and topsy -turvy feelings became the norm. And this was the universal sentiment that seemed to rock our worlds- both outer and inner but mostly the former.
There were some larger energetic shifts that impacted us all,but, regardless of that, we all felt the awareness that there was still work to be done. This made me realize: sometimes things happen at their own speed, in their own due time. I am not in control, even as much as I wish I was, or as much as I try working hard to be. I can’t force anything- life can change and impact us -on a macro or micro scale – at any moment. It just is what it is….
And now I truly get that. My son having difficulties has really shown me how we can’t force things to happen. He is going at his own pace, not one imposed upon by me. He is doing the best he can. All I can do is pray, set intentions and ask for help when I need it. BUT I can’t force him on any level to go any faster to do any “better” even though my WILL, my ego might want him to.I need to be in the FLOW. The flow of my outer life and unexpected circumstances that may arise, as well as my inner life- flowing with my feelings, thoughts, passions and purpose- as well as my shadow side.
And now I truly get that. My son having difficulties has really shown me how we can’t force things to happen. He is going at his own pace, not one imposed upon by me. He is doing the best he can. All I can do is pray, set intentions and ask for help when I need it. BUT I can’t force him on any level to go any faster to do any “better” even though my WILL, my ego might want him to….I need to be in the FLOW. The flow of my outer life and unexpected circumstances that may arise, as well as my inner life- flowing with my feelings, thoughts, passions and purpose- as well as my shadow side.
That Summer Feeling~ June, Hormones, Sunshine and Heart-to-Hearts
June is a slip into summer……New scientific research has even discovered that different hormones peak during different seasons. Our reproduction hormones tend to peak late winter into spring. Move over birdie! Moreover, our serotonin levels are also elevated during the summer months with more exposure to sun light. With this higher dose, we can feel more confident in our skin, more able to open up and share with others. This hormone also creates feelings of loyalty, which may engender trust and open honesty. Hormonal changes such as these can increase our desire to connect with others. Biologically, we are social creatures and it is vital to our survival, our health and our well-being, to have solid connections with a close, core group of people in which we can allow ourselves to be intimate and vulnerable with.
‘You Must Believe In Spring…’
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom” Anais Nin. The Cycle begins again… Birth. Emergence. Becoming. Newness. Freshness. Blooming. Budding. Moving. Ascending.
For many decades now, I have come to live in harmony with natures seasonal changes and create rituals around them. I suppose my interest started at first as a child because I was always very observant to nature and what was happening in my outside world. Now, even the years that I am not quite as attentive, I still feel a buzzing in my body come late March that continues through to June. To me this sensation is spring….
….Think of the sort of “anger” one has when playing a sport, or the “anger” one has when playing a game, or the burning sensation that one might feel when a highly valued project or endeavor hits an avalanche of an obstacle. It’s the sensation of being so alive and so on fire that only a blood curdling cry can truly demonstrate the depth (like the NZ Maori’s war dance, the Haka). It’s that kind of anger that runs rampant during these spring months. If this anger is felt and understood and then, most importantly, let go of, it is useful in allowing us to forge ahead. It gives us resilience and strength despite our possible uphill battles. However, if this anger is nurtured and feed, it can become a noose around our necks and follow us everywhere we go. Not relinquishing its hold can poison even the most tender of moments, even the sweetest of relationships…..
What a Little Moonlight Can Do
The full moon is a super-attractor: meaning- whatever you are feeling will be 200% accentuated during this moon phase. Feeling crazy? Well, get ready for more Cra-cray. Feeling amorous? Here comes more mojo! Feeling sad? You better grab those tissues! The full moon amplifies EVERYTHING.
Surrender, Surrender But Don’t Give Yourself Away…
We both started to panic. I was probably the weaker swimmer, but my friend was a bit further out then I. She started to yell for me,” Can you come and help me?!?” As I looked back, I realized I was using all my strength just to stay put, my heart started racing and I started to panic, as she clearly was as well.
I yelled to her to just go with the tide and I would try and get help… We both were literally in over our heads.
You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling
“Intimacy is being seen and known as the person you truly are.” Amy Bloom
Ever want that connection… but not THAT connection? And, doesn’t that sound so much more than sexy Victoria’s Secret lingerie? I mean, there’s nothing wrong with sexy, but sex and intimacy aren’t necessarily interdependent. And, for many people, it’s harder to be intimate WITHOUT the sexy part than WITH the sexy part. When the “private part” is one’s own vulnerability the stakes are higher than when the clothing comes off. It’s no wonder, then, that true intimacy is somewhat of a rarity.
After all, it’s hard to open up and allow someone else to see your tender underbelly. It’s frightening and creates anxiety; it brings up all kinds of stuff. However, if we can’t go “there”, the other stuff is just a roll in the hay which may be fun in the moment or a whole lot of regret down the road.
Related posts…
A Moon That Remakes You: November’s Crossroads
You’re not imagining it—the magic really did disappear for a while. The world just takes from us, doesn’t it?
The bills. The to-do lists that never end. The constant pressure to keep up, show up, be more, do more. We’re so busy surviving the demands of modern life that we forget we ever had dreams. Forget what it feels like to be aligned with anything beyond just making it through the day.
And somewhere in all that noise and depletion, the sacred slips away. We lose touch with the part of us that used to believe in something bigger. That used to feel things deeply.
We burn out. We disconnect. And we convince ourselves that magic was never real to begin with.
But here’s what I know: you’re allowed to stop waiting for those dreams. You’re allowed to stop participating in the hustle culture. You’re allowed to pause and breathe. And most importantly? You’re allowed to start creating.
You’re Not Imagining It—The Magic Really Did Disappear For A While.
You’re not imagining it—the magic really did disappear for a while. The world just takes from us, doesn’t it?
The bills. The to-do lists that never end. The constant pressure to keep up, show up, be more, do more. We’re so busy surviving the demands of modern life that we forget we ever had dreams. Forget what it feels like to be aligned with anything beyond just making it through the day.
And somewhere in all that noise and depletion, the sacred slips away. We lose touch with the part of us that used to believe in something bigger. That used to feel things deeply.
We burn out. We disconnect. And we convince ourselves that magic was never real to begin with.
But here’s what I know: you’re allowed to stop waiting for those dreams. You’re allowed to stop participating in the hustle culture. You’re allowed to pause and breathe. And most importantly? You’re allowed to start creating.
Navigating the Forest of Intuition: Uncovering the Path to Profound Understanding
Journey through the dense undergrowth of uncertainty and skepticism to uncover the hidden trails of intuition, where obstacles mirror life’s challenges and disruptions. Embrace the whispers of your inner voice as you traverse this profound forest, emerging into the sunlit meadow of profound understanding and enlightenment.
Embracing the Soulful Growth and Expansion of Wintering
Have you ever found yourself pondering over your deepest desires, visualizing how you want to express your life, and asking, “What is it that I want to attract and manifest?” It’s a concept that might seem bizarre to some, and one that is often met with a lot of doubt. This is especially true when it comes to the belief or concept of manifesting or attraction. You might have heard of “The Secret,” Abraham-Hicks, or Gabby Bernstein, and thought it all sounded a bit too “woo-woo.” However, it’s a concept that is definitely worth exploring.
Regardless of your personal beliefs, manifestation can be an incredibly useful tool for achieving your dreams. Whether you see it as a blueprint for action or a method of bringing your desires to life, the practice holds true value. And the best part? Its applications extend far beyond just achieving your goals – its principles can be applied to many areas of your life.
Manifestation is a powerful tool that can help you bring your desires and dreams into reality. While there are many techniques for manifesting, some of the most effective ones are often overlooked. Here are five tips for manifesting that will be sure to can bring you closer to joy:
About the Author…
Did you know Meditation can reduce insomnia by 75%? It can reduce anxiety by 60%? It increases heart, hormonal and gut health!!
