Has this happened to you?
You see things over and over again, then that trigger thoughts that lead to explanations becoming revealed ?
Sometimes things come at you all at once. In every direction. Recently, this has been happening to me. My big message? Help people with their meditation practices.
Seriously! Three different sources/messages – that felt like avalanches (!) – came banging on my door and yelling “you need to explain this!!”
Thing is, I am just grappling with the explanation myself. I understand it, and, I’ve understood it for years, but I have the most difficult time explaining it. So- I will do my best …
A few months back, in my FB group ‘Project Self’, we were focusing in on meditation. A common issue that comes up for people that say they can’t meditate, is being unable to focus for long periods. “There’s just too much chatter in my head, there’s too much noise going on, I can’t stop thinking!”, is a common feeling that is expressed.
In the group practices, I had been focused on teaching breathing techniques to calm and center the body, offering journal prompts; to help let go of thought, and leading guided visual meditations – to make it easier to slip into the meditative state; yet, nothing seemed to help those that couldn’t release their inner chatter.
I now realize that’s where I should’ve been putting ALL of my attention.
Because it’s much more than just the mind chatter. Its an understanding of our deep consciousness versus our ego, or our monkey mind.
When I’ve talked to groups about this constant chatter in the past, I used this illustration-
and I hope I don’t offend anyone reading, but its real potty talk!
Let’s start with our poop. The purpose of your large intestine is to get rid of things it doesn’t need. We don’t say it’s malfunctioning when we poop, right? It might be stinky and unpleasant, but it’s necessary.
Poop is just the results of us getting rid of what we no longer need. It is making room for the things that we do need, cycling through all the nutrition and minerals coming through the new food sources, so that our body can process those and get rid of the rest, again, with more poop. The same thing goes for the kidneys. The kidneys are working when they’re cleaning the blood right? Some of it gets cleaned , and some of it turns into our pee-pee (sorry I am in toddler speak this year!)! We don’t say our kidneys are broken when we pee, right? They are getting rid of what they need to get rid of. They are doing their job.
And our brain has a job as well. Its there to produce our thoughts -over and over again- so many thoughts. It’s part of how it functions. But not all of our thoughts should be kept. In fact, many of them should be tossed down the toilet. And why do we have these thoughts and why are there so many?
They as signals and signs for us. Nothing else. They demonstrate that our brain is working. They are energy, but not useful energy. When we release them, they don’t have an effect on us.
Have you ever been constipated???
OMG- I HAVE! So many of our thoughts are brain constipation. They need to GO but we won’t release them, so they give us pain, uncomfort and stress.
We are not our poop, nor are we our pee-pee. And, likewise, we are not our thoughts.
What??? We are not our thoughts? Then what our thoughts?
Our thoughts are a function of our brain. Some thoughts are good and useful to us, and some are not.
WE -however- are the LISTENER of our thoughts. I know this is a bit confusing but here’s the deal -we hear our thoughts. We are our Consciousness – we are our Soul- we are our inner knowing but we are not our thoughts – they are only a function of our brain.
*Try this. Sit for five minutes. Don’t focus on anything but when you hear a thought- instead of listening to it as if it were you, imagine it is someone else talking to you. If it helps, create an image or give this speaker a name. I call my speaker ‘Geraldo’.
(yes, because he tends to be sensationally bombastic!!)
Whatever name you’ve given that inner speaker or critic, let this critic speak the thoughts. One after another. Dont follow them with any emotional response. You will continue to have thoughts and they will continue to surface even if you don’t follow any of them. After about five or 10 minutes you will be amazed at how many thoughts you had. But you will also realize that many of these thoughts were wrong, or contradictary, or they weren’t flowing or they were just plain crazy..
If someone else had these thoughts, would you think they were crazy? And if the answer is yes -then those are the thoughts you need to put in the toilet, and flush.
Did you notice that there was someone else listening to your thoughts, someone that could actually hear the thoughts and think whether or not the thoughts are valuable. Someone “deeper” to this speaker?
That deeper listener, that deeper person- that wiser person is your soul. And you can’t get to the soul level if you’re stuck in the ego mind chatter; if you’re stuck talking to Geraldo.
I got a new phone today. It wasn’t planned- in fact it was an almost painful experience. Last February, for my birthday, I got a new phone, and yet- here I was sitting and waiting at the apple store once again….
My son threw my phone into the pool. This is after he’d already thrown it across the room a few times and the screen had been repaired and replaced several times. Yes, for my poor phone, the fun was not over! Earlier this week it experienced another thrashing, resulting in a slightly cracked screen and THEN -yesterday-it took a swim.
Since it had already had been thrown, there was a crack down the center of the screen and the water got in right away.
So, I spent about four hours today waiting and working with the iPhone people to get a new phone and a travel back-and-forth to my home.
I have this habit of naming things. I named my car, Carlina, I named my laptop Bianca, and I named my new red phone Rossa Parlara. She is a shinny red iPhone 11 and needed a name just a sophisticated as she is. So Rossa was cracked, she was drowning, she stopped functioning, and every once in a while she’d light up and then she’d disappear. But she was still in there.
Her physical self was beaten and her software was fried, but Rossa was still inside. The iPhone guy said “do you feel that vibration” I put my hand on her side button and felt her softly vibrate as I turned it on and off “Yes!” I said. “Your phone is still ON, but the water has drowned out the lights and it’s functioning” he told me.
Rossa is the SIM card; as soon as she was put into a new phone she worked beautifully. I could have chosen a silver phone, or a black phone, or a pink phone, or a gold phone, but in honor of her old self – I chose another red phone (it’s also Kalen‘s favorite color so it’s a bit sentimental).
Point being: She would have worked in ANY of these phones because Rossa is NOT the phone, she is the SIM card, but the phone can’t function without her. Everything that is valuable about this phone is on that SIM card.
This metal exterior, with its beautiful red hue, was just the outside of my iPhone, my Rossa. This was just her physicality, as well as her processing functions, or – what I liken to her ego-mind.. But Rosa the program, the Sim card within this broken iPhone, was still completely working.
You must be wondering what in the world does this have to do with meditation? With pooping? With Geraldo?
This is how our soul works.
Like Rossa, our brain might not be functioning. We may have crazy thoughts! We have may have crazy feelings! We may not be able to think clearly! And we may be blinking on and off!
Perhaps we are injured or somehow our physical body is not working at full capacity either. Does that change our soul? Are we this body? Are we these blinking lights?
No, of course not. We are the consciousness beyond the body. We are the consciousness beyond the mind. We are the consciousness of the soul.
If you say you can’t meditate, it’s not that you can’t meditate, it’s that you aren’t connecting to your soul. It’s that you have let your “Geraldo” jabber on, you’ve given him too much head space.
Once you can separate your thoughts from your inner being- you can start to release them, let them go, and flush them out. Then, Get back to the YOU that is listening. Get back to the YOU that is love.
Remember . Meditation is not the problem. In fact, you haven’t even really tried it yet!
The self critic is the problem. Geraldo is the problem. Listen to how crazy he is and let him be on his way. He may not want to go, but each time he shows up remember he is NOT your soul, and he is keeping you from the life and grace that is waiting for you…
Full and Freaky: the Lunar Eclipse Full Moon
In astrological terms, this is the start of a new year. We go from the heavenly and spiritual energy of Pisces; the slow watery sign that dreams and imagines, that is not so tied to this earthly plane as it is to the next, and lives half beyond the veil, to the Aries’ abrupt, rising, warrior energy.
Most of the ancient and modern astrologers agree that the year’s wheel is a metaphor to the lifecycle. We start out as babies with the high intensive energy of Aries, and make our way until we are in our later years (i.e. months) with the ending of the year in the wise, twinkling and elder spirit of Pisces.
The Aries temperament is similar to a young child’s in that it is fresh and vibrant, it has no fear, it goes after what it wants, it cries when it doesn’t get it -but- gets right back up again! This temperament may get angry, however, Aries has taught us to use that anger for production, and never to hold onto it.
…There are various other cultures and traditions that attach characteristics, emotions, energy, colors, and, even, taste and sounds to these transitional times. But, the majority would agree that this is the most impactful time of year, full of metamorphoses and change: the time leaving winter and entering spring. The opposition of these two seasonal energies create a vortex of possibilities in each of our lives…
Solar Eclipse Season & Life Lessons:
In astrological terms, this is the start of a new year. We go from the heavenly and spiritual energy of Pisces; the slow watery sign that dreams and imagines, that is not so tied to this earthly plane as it is to the next, and lives half beyond the veil, to the Aries’ abrupt, rising, warrior energy.
Most of the ancient and modern astrologers agree that the year’s wheel is a metaphor to the lifecycle. We start out as babies with the high intensive energy of Aries, and make our way until we are in our later years (i.e. months) with the ending of the year in the wise, twinkling and elder spirit of Pisces.
The Aries temperament is similar to a young child’s in that it is fresh and vibrant, it has no fear, it goes after what it wants, it cries when it doesn’t get it -but- gets right back up again! This temperament may get angry, however, Aries has taught us to use that anger for production, and never to hold onto it.
…There are various other cultures and traditions that attach characteristics, emotions, energy, colors, and, even, taste and sounds to these transitional times. But, the majority would agree that this is the most impactful time of year, full of metamorphoses and change: the time leaving winter and entering spring. The opposition of these two seasonal energies create a vortex of possibilities in each of our lives…
Happy New Year! The Vernal Equinox and WHY its the BEST Time to Start Again…
In astrological terms, this is the start of a new year. We go from the heavenly and spiritual energy of Pisces; the slow watery sign that dreams and imagines, that is not so tied to this earthly plane as it is to the next, and lives half beyond the veil, to the Aries’ abrupt, rising, warrior energy.
Most of the ancient and modern astrologers agree that the year’s wheel is a metaphor to the lifecycle. We start out as babies with the high intensive energy of Aries, and make our way until we are in our later years (i.e. months) with the ending of the year in the wise, twinkling and elder spirit of Pisces.
The Aries temperament is similar to a young child’s in that it is fresh and vibrant, it has no fear, it goes after what it wants, it cries when it doesn’t get it -but- gets right back up again! This temperament may get angry, however, Aries has taught us to use that anger for production, and never to hold onto it.
…There are various other cultures and traditions that attach characteristics, emotions, energy, colors, and, even, taste and sounds to these transitional times. But, the majority would agree that this is the most impactful time of year, full of metamorphoses and change: the time leaving winter and entering spring. The opposition of these two seasonal energies create a vortex of possibilities in each of our lives…
“Find Your Why and You Will Find Your Way”
It’s so important to KNOW without a shadow of a doubt what FILLS YOUR CUP and keeps your heart smiling, even when stress is out of control and sh*t hits the fan. It’s times like these , we get thrown off track, get hit from the side, lose the wind from our sails. Too many of these blows, can knock us down for the count. But there is always a way to get back up. And sometimes that means finding your true north, seeing what is important and going the distance. Getting back up means getting in touch with your ‘WHY’
to me
Word of the year: FLOW
2022 taught me a lot. It was tougher than I thought it would be , wasn’t it?? After all we’d been through in 2020 & 2021 most of us thought 2022 would be a walk in the park. But honestly- I don’t know anyone who felt that was.
The world was maybe only very slightly calmer- at least from my perspective- but my inner landscape was vexed. Things came up , situations changed, and topsy -turvy feelings became the norm. And this was the universal sentiment that seemed to rock our worlds- both outer and inner but mostly the former.
There were some larger energetic shifts that impacted us all,but, regardless of that, we all felt the awareness that there was still work to be done. This made me realize: sometimes things happen at their own speed, in their own due time. I am not in control, even as much as I wish I was, or as much as I try working hard to be. I can’t force anything- life can change and impact us -on a macro or micro scale – at any moment. It just is what it is….
And now I truly get that. My son having difficulties has really shown me how we can’t force things to happen. He is going at his own pace, not one imposed upon by me. He is doing the best he can. All I can do is pray, set intentions and ask for help when I need it. BUT I can’t force him on any level to go any faster to do any “better” even though my WILL, my ego might want him to.I need to be in the FLOW. The flow of my outer life and unexpected circumstances that may arise, as well as my inner life- flowing with my feelings, thoughts, passions and purpose- as well as my shadow side.
And now I truly get that. My son having difficulties has really shown me how we can’t force things to happen. He is going at his own pace, not one imposed upon by me. He is doing the best he can. All I can do is pray, set intentions and ask for help when I need it. BUT I can’t force him on any level to go any faster to do any “better” even though my WILL, my ego might want him to….I need to be in the FLOW. The flow of my outer life and unexpected circumstances that may arise, as well as my inner life- flowing with my feelings, thoughts, passions and purpose- as well as my shadow side.
Word Of the Year: Flow! Getting in it for 2023
This made me realize: sometimes things happen at their own speed, in their own due time. I am not in control, even as much as I wish I was, or as much as I try working hard to be. I can’t force anything- life can change and impact us -on a macro or micro scale – at any moment. It just is what it is….Shana Heatley
1:59 PM (35 minutes ago)
to me
Word of the year: FLOW
2022 taught me a lot. It was tougher than I thought it would be , wasn’t it?? After all we’d been through in 2020 & 2021 most of us thought 2022 would be a walk in the park. But honestly- I don’t know anyone who felt that was.
The world was maybe only very slightly calmer- at least from my perspective- but my inner landscape was vexed. Things came up , situations changed, and topsy -turvy feelings became the norm. And this was the universal sentiment that seemed to rock our worlds- both outer and inner but mostly the former.
There were some larger energetic shifts that impacted us all,but, regardless of that, we all felt the awareness that there was still work to be done. This made me realize: sometimes things happen at their own speed, in their own due time. I am not in control, even as much as I wish I was, or as much as I try working hard to be. I can’t force anything- life can change and impact us -on a macro or micro scale – at any moment. It just is what it is….
And now I truly get that. My son having difficulties has really shown me how we can’t force things to happen. He is going at his own pace, not one imposed upon by me. He is doing the best he can. All I can do is pray, set intentions and ask for help when I need it. BUT I can’t force him on any level to go any faster to do any “better” even though my WILL, my ego might want him to.I need to be in the FLOW. The flow of my outer life and unexpected circumstances that may arise, as well as my inner life- flowing with my feelings, thoughts, passions and purpose- as well as my shadow side.
And now I truly get that. My son having difficulties has really shown me how we can’t force things to happen. He is going at his own pace, not one imposed upon by me. He is doing the best he can. All I can do is pray, set intentions and ask for help when I need it. BUT I can’t force him on any level to go any faster to do any “better” even though my WILL, my ego might want him to….I need to be in the FLOW. The flow of my outer life and unexpected circumstances that may arise, as well as my inner life- flowing with my feelings, thoughts, passions and purpose- as well as my shadow side.
That Summer Feeling~ June, Hormones, Sunshine and Heart-to-Hearts
June is a slip into summer……New scientific research has even discovered that different hormones peak during different seasons. Our reproduction hormones tend to peak late winter into spring. Move over birdie! Moreover, our serotonin levels are also elevated during the summer months with more exposure to sun light. With this higher dose, we can feel more confident in our skin, more able to open up and share with others. This hormone also creates feelings of loyalty, which may engender trust and open honesty. Hormonal changes such as these can increase our desire to connect with others. Biologically, we are social creatures and it is vital to our survival, our health and our well-being, to have solid connections with a close, core group of people in which we can allow ourselves to be intimate and vulnerable with.
‘You Must Believe In Spring…’
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom” Anais Nin. The Cycle begins again… Birth. Emergence. Becoming. Newness. Freshness. Blooming. Budding. Moving. Ascending.
For many decades now, I have come to live in harmony with natures seasonal changes and create rituals around them. I suppose my interest started at first as a child because I was always very observant to nature and what was happening in my outside world. Now, even the years that I am not quite as attentive, I still feel a buzzing in my body come late March that continues through to June. To me this sensation is spring….
….Think of the sort of “anger” one has when playing a sport, or the “anger” one has when playing a game, or the burning sensation that one might feel when a highly valued project or endeavor hits an avalanche of an obstacle. It’s the sensation of being so alive and so on fire that only a blood curdling cry can truly demonstrate the depth (like the NZ Maori’s war dance, the Haka). It’s that kind of anger that runs rampant during these spring months. If this anger is felt and understood and then, most importantly, let go of, it is useful in allowing us to forge ahead. It gives us resilience and strength despite our possible uphill battles. However, if this anger is nurtured and feed, it can become a noose around our necks and follow us everywhere we go. Not relinquishing its hold can poison even the most tender of moments, even the sweetest of relationships…..
What a Little Moonlight Can Do
The full moon is a super-attractor: meaning- whatever you are feeling will be 200% accentuated during this moon phase. Feeling crazy? Well, get ready for more Cra-cray. Feeling amorous? Here comes more mojo! Feeling sad? You better grab those tissues! The full moon amplifies EVERYTHING.
Surrender, Surrender But Don’t Give Yourself Away…
We both started to panic. I was probably the weaker swimmer, but my friend was a bit further out then I. She started to yell for me,” Can you come and help me?!?” As I looked back, I realized I was using all my strength just to stay put, my heart started racing and I started to panic, as she clearly was as well.
I yelled to her to just go with the tide and I would try and get help… We both were literally in over our heads.
You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling
“Intimacy is being seen and known as the person you truly are.” Amy Bloom
Ever want that connection… but not THAT connection? And, doesn’t that sound so much more than sexy Victoria’s Secret lingerie? I mean, there’s nothing wrong with sexy, but sex and intimacy aren’t necessarily interdependent. And, for many people, it’s harder to be intimate WITHOUT the sexy part than WITH the sexy part. When the “private part” is one’s own vulnerability the stakes are higher than when the clothing comes off. It’s no wonder, then, that true intimacy is somewhat of a rarity.
After all, it’s hard to open up and allow someone else to see your tender underbelly. It’s frightening and creates anxiety; it brings up all kinds of stuff. However, if we can’t go “there”, the other stuff is just a roll in the hay which may be fun in the moment or a whole lot of regret down the road.
Related posts…
A Moon That Remakes You: November’s Crossroads
You’re not imagining it—the magic really did disappear for a while. The world just takes from us, doesn’t it?
The bills. The to-do lists that never end. The constant pressure to keep up, show up, be more, do more. We’re so busy surviving the demands of modern life that we forget we ever had dreams. Forget what it feels like to be aligned with anything beyond just making it through the day.
And somewhere in all that noise and depletion, the sacred slips away. We lose touch with the part of us that used to believe in something bigger. That used to feel things deeply.
We burn out. We disconnect. And we convince ourselves that magic was never real to begin with.
But here’s what I know: you’re allowed to stop waiting for those dreams. You’re allowed to stop participating in the hustle culture. You’re allowed to pause and breathe. And most importantly? You’re allowed to start creating.
You’re Not Imagining It—The Magic Really Did Disappear For A While.
You’re not imagining it—the magic really did disappear for a while. The world just takes from us, doesn’t it?
The bills. The to-do lists that never end. The constant pressure to keep up, show up, be more, do more. We’re so busy surviving the demands of modern life that we forget we ever had dreams. Forget what it feels like to be aligned with anything beyond just making it through the day.
And somewhere in all that noise and depletion, the sacred slips away. We lose touch with the part of us that used to believe in something bigger. That used to feel things deeply.
We burn out. We disconnect. And we convince ourselves that magic was never real to begin with.
But here’s what I know: you’re allowed to stop waiting for those dreams. You’re allowed to stop participating in the hustle culture. You’re allowed to pause and breathe. And most importantly? You’re allowed to start creating.
April’s Messages- can you hear them?
Navigating the Forest of Intuition: Uncovering the Path to Profound Understanding
Journey through the dense undergrowth of uncertainty and skepticism to uncover the hidden trails of intuition, where obstacles mirror life’s challenges and disruptions. Embrace the whispers of your inner voice as you traverse this profound forest, emerging into the sunlit meadow of profound understanding and enlightenment.
About the Author…
Did you know Meditation can reduce insomnia by 75%? It can reduce anxiety by 60%? It increases heart, hormonal and gut health!!
